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gems of the week
armaan’s thoughts
owning up to your mistakes feels so bad yet so good i just fjbasjdbsd
skip the sleep while you can
when you become serious, the muses come down to help
1 reflection
treating myself not like myself
so if you’re on this newsletter list, i bet you’re a special type of person.
you tie your shoes in under 5 seconds.
you take a call and get straight to business.
you love partying and having fun, but you can only enjoy that if you’ve put in the work the day before.
you’re an over-achiever, a type A person, a “grinder” or “hustler”, a whatever-the-fuck-u-wanna-call-it.
but at baseline, you expect more out of yourself than the average person expects out of themselves.
that’s great.
it bears a lot of fruit.
you’ve probably got a decently fit body or a big bank account or people come to you for advice or whatever.
you’re not a nobody.
great.
but there are drawbacks.
and one of those drawbacks is your proclivity to be an asshole to yourself. your inclination to beat yourself up for not only making mistakes, but continuously remind yourself that you’ve made mistakes and should “pay the price”.
the memory of failure keeps you hungry and vigilant. or at least, that’s what you say to yourself.
at least that’s what I SAY to myself. but fuck man, recently im really trying to learn to forgive myself and treat myself like someone else.
this past weekend i was shooting some video at a club and the audio came out ass. it was because my mic + gear combo simply wasn’t good enough. i did my best to fix it in editing, but it still was shit. im worried because not only does my product/service not up to par, but furthermore, the client i worked with was potentially a longterm client that i may have blundered because of this mistake.
i hate that.
it sucks.
but it’s life.
i scraped my knees, i bled, and now im getting back up.
great.
but FUCK it’s hard to forgive myself. i don’t know why i keep repeating that mistake and blunder over and over and over again.
i think some part of me likes to feel like the underdog. like the sisyphus rolling the rock up the hill.
but man, if anyone else was in my situation, i’d tell them “hey, you did what you can do. you tried to fix things. you made changes so this wouldn’t happen again. you’ve learned. there’s no reason to beat yourself up further. this is life, good job, and keep moving forward.”
so that’s pretty much exactly what i said to myself, while journaling.
there’s nothing i can do to change the situation.
and im okay with that.
love you.
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shoutout to my friends.