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- an ode to loneliness
an ode to loneliness
Armaan Ajoomal
September 16, 2024
isn’t it sad that so many coffee shops, apartment buildings, and restaurants have such similar decor or design?
they’ve all melded. :(
gems of the week
list of things ive discovered and wanted to share
armaan’s thoughts
dogs and babies have the same look on their face when they’re watching TV
every now and then, re-evaluate the stories you tell yourself.
for 6 or 7 months, i’ve said “editing is my least favorite part of making videos” - but recently, i’ve enjoyed it a bit more. i don’t know how, i don’t know why, but i smile more when i edit. so that story is now “incorrect”.
im really starting to warm up to LA as a city
it’s really weird how i sometimes feel inferior when meeting people 4,5,6 steps ahead of me “creativity-career-wise”
1 reflection
wow, i feel lonely.
ok before going any further, end your pity. if you have any semblance of pity or remorse or “sorry-ness” in your blood for that sentence i just uttered - stop it. im not searching for pity. im searching for truth.
and loneliness is a truth i feel right now.
for months/years we’ve heard “gen z loneliness is on the rise!”. it makes sense intuitively, with everyone glued to phones and people so fond of their digital pacifiers. then we look at covid fears (which are honestly still present in LA to some degree) and all that shit. furthermore, the widespread availability of porn, video games, movies, and pleasurable entertainment make it so easy to stay inside all day and be entertained.
but now i don’t see it. i feel it.
being estranged from my friends in boston and family in Connecticut reminds me of it. that’s a triggering event of sorts. but also in a romantic sense, i do feel a tad bit lonely. no one’s really transfixed my brain for a minute. it’s been quite a while - and i miss it. that feeling of fluttering at every text or dread when someone’s not responding. that butterflies in your stomach when you see them across the room and smile when they lock eyes with you.
sorry im romanticizing the honeymoon phase BUT DAMN RIGHT IT SHOULD BE.
so anyways, yeah, i feel a bit lonely. and what i mean by that is not “i have no friends to turn to” or “no one will listen to me yap.”
i have those friends.
if you’re reading this, you’re one of them.
but when we get down to the day-to-day nitty gritty experience of life, i feel very much like an estranged individual.
maybe this feeling cannot be trapped in the prison of language, and that’s okay, but it’s what i feel. so that’s why i wanted to share.
but id like to sit with this feeling. im very quick to rationalize or CBT my way out of feeling “sad” or “down”. but honestly, i think it’s good for the soul to just sit and feel.
so yeah. see yall soon.
bye. :)
thanks for stopping by. love you.
share this with a friend if you enjoyed it.
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appreciation
dogs. specifically my coworkers dogs - but all dogs included.
THANK you for reading, you’re the best, and I love you oh so dearly.