- figuring it out.
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- internal dialogue
gems of the week
chris stussy set - if u love dance/house listen to this
tarantino interview on charlie rose 1977
for any aspiring creative
armaan’s thoughts
be careful for what you wish for. you might receive and realize it’ll take some learning to handle it.
everyday im astounded by the degree to which people actually want to help you succeed. wow.
you don’t need faith in your ability today. but trust that you’ll grow with whatever it takes.
1 reflection
i want to suffer for my success.
so there’s this weird complex i have which doesn’t allow me to enjoy wins or the “fruits of my labor” unless ive worked really hard for it.
an A on a paper doesn’t feel good if i put like 5 minutes into it.
a new gig or contract feels meh if it just stumbled into my lap.
praise or recognition from others isn’t very rewarding or satisfying if i didn’t have to bite my teeth and GRINDSET for it.
im not sure what it is, but part of me always feels like i’m climbing uphill. like i’ve gotta suffer and sweat and toil to make cool shit or progress.
and while that’s got it’s benefits, such as making you work harder or hustle more, it’s also got some downsides.
the major one being angst.
if you think you must suffer to win, you’ll suffer needlessly. because there’ll be times in which isn’t necessary, but you’ll create drama and fictional stories in your head.
just look at Elon Musk. he’s addicted to drama.
so as i’m making progress on my freelance journey, slowly growing and getting better, one thing i’ve had to revisit is this notion of “suffering” for success. because the very notion that i must encounter difficulty in order to “gain” something makes me more neurotic or fearful.
here’s a flow.
armaan’s mind:
“you must suffer for success” → me creating unnecessary drama or angst around getting gigs → i dont have belief i’ll get gigs → negative thought loops leading to more drama → me getting a gig but doubting my ability → fear for the next 5 days until i have to pick up my camera → i shoot the gig and do well → i’m fine
so at the end of the day, it all turns out fine, but for that week in between landing a gig and actually running it, IM ACTUALLY A LIVING EMBODIMENT HELL.
and that’s not helpful.
so what am i doing about it?
landing shit is outta my control. improving my craft? yeah that’s in my control. so i’ll focus on that.
focus on networking and meeting more mfs.
focus on being better and killing it.
and maybe stop being an asshole to myself.
but that’s about it.
that’s all i can do.
fuck everything else.
love you.
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appreciation
shoutout to my friends.